Unlock the secrets of effective leadership through psychological safety and honest feedback
So, you think you’re a good leader? Maybe you’ve had bosses you’ve criticised, but you don’t think any of those criticisms apply to you. If you’re committed to becoming a better leader, it's time to recognise that this does apply to you. Research shows that while 95% of us believe we are self-aware, only 10-15% truly are. Chances are, you are the kind of boss you’ve complained about in the past—I know I am too.
Some of us leave behind incompetent, bullying, narcissistic, or negligent bosses to start our own companies, hoping to be a different kind of leader. Yet, without realising it, we often become just another version of the same.
Most leaders are both competent and human, with strengths and weaknesses like anyone else. But we sometimes forget this and judge harshly when leaders show any sign of weakness. If you want to improve and be among the truly self-aware, consider these points:
The importance of psychological safety
Creating a space where your team feels safe to speak up is essential. In fact, 89% of people believe psychological safety is crucial in the workplace. As a leader, it's vital to understand what contributes to a psychologically safe environment and what undermines it. According to the World Economic Forum, the best things you can do are practice inclusive leadership by building strong relationships, showing curiosity, and being self-aware.
However, beware of "toxic positivity". In a world that is full of inspirational quotes, being told to just "be grateful" or having problems brushed over with a positive spin can make people feel unheard and misunderstood. True empathy involves recognising real issues, and not dismissing them with empty positivity.
Avoid creating "triangles" in communication
Years ago, I learned a valuable lesson from Rachael Robertson's “no triangles” rule, which has stayed with me ever since. It’s simple: handle issues directly with the person involved, not by involving a third party. Unfortunately, even knowing this, we often create triangles—this is especially dangerous at leadership levels.
For example, if I’m a CEO and a senior employee approaches me about their relationship with their GM, a triangle is created if I engage directly. While it might be about ensuring psychological safety, it could also be feeding my ego—making me feel like the "better" leader whose employees trust me more. But to truly serve our teams, we need to avoid these traps. The best response when someone tries to involve you in this triangle is, “What did the GM say when you discussed it with them?”
How to accept feedback effectively
At a recent conference I attended, Dr. Amantha Imber, an organisational psychologist, shared insights about how we instinctively react to feedback. It turns out we’re hardwired to think one of three things when feedback comes our way: "You are wrong," "You are an idiot," or "I am the problem." These thoughts, though natural, are unhelpful in processing feedback constructively.
Learning to prevent an “amygdala hijack”—where emotions take over—is a crucial leadership skill. There are many techniques out there but my favourite, taught to me by Camilla Thompson, is to discreetly find five items of a single colour when you feel your emotions rising. This can help centre you and keep you from reacting impulsively. It can be done in any setting, at any time, without anyone noticing. Perfect for business meetings or one-on-ones!
Test your openness to feedback
To gauge how open you are to feedback, try using the strategy-people disconnect scorecard. Seek out a representative sample from across your organisation and compare their responses to your own. Make sure the process is anonymous to avoid biased results. Then, reflect on any emotional reactions you have to the feedback, something I sometimes struggled with. Where can you improve? What changes would most benefit your organisation and your leadership style?
By making these adjustments, you can help build a culture of honest feedback and psychological safety—both key to being a truly self-aware leader.
Author of ‘Meaningful Work: Unlock Your Unique Path to Career Fulfilment’, Nina Mapson Bone is a people strategist, consultant, chair and keynote speaker. She consults with boards, CEOs, founders and executives on bridging the disconnect between strategy and the needs, motivations and capabilities of their people. Nina’s executive career has spanned three continents and diverse sectors. She was previously the Managing Director of Beaumont People, where she led a period of significant growth for the organisation, during which it was recognised with multiple awards. For more information visit www.nmbpeoplestrategy.com.au
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